Discovery

This is another poem that I wrote about five years ago. For a long time I struggled with (and sometimes still do) who I’m supposed to be. I wanted to please people and also help people. A lot of times those things turned into pain. I had quite a bit of anger and bitterness at the time. I also felt like I was supposed to share myself with others through writing and singing. Such things were scary to consider because I didn’t know what people would think. I’m still learning how not to care so much, but I’ve also grown to understand that if my heart is to please God and encourage others then how bad can it be? 🙂 Well here’s the poem that formulated with all of these thoughts.

Discovery (originally written March 9, 2009)

I halt around each corner.

Fear grips me as I tiptoe

my way to discovery.

What will I find?

Better yet, who?

 

With each step I try to gain

courage.

I know what’s coming: the mirror.

Who will it be this time?

 

The perfectionist, perhaps?

The singer?

Coward?

Servant?

Reject?

The strong one?

Not this time;

the masks have been discarded.

 

Instead, I find myself as a child

being held in the arms of Time Itself,

being carried by the only True Love that exists,

being reminded of the beauty created within me.

 

I weep staring at the image I thought was lost.

I reach desiring to grab hold of my dreams.

I want to remember this image forever

because I can see I have always been His.

 

He is my journey.

He is my discovery around every corner

of every trial

of every chapter

of my life.

 

Beyond the masks eternally lies this image:

Fearlessness in the arms of God,

Who shapes every inch,

Who mends each broken piece,

Whose love exposes truth

in pain

and joy

in tears.

 

My hope runs with His blood.

My heart beats with each new song of creation.

My soul weeps with the broken

for I am a part of Him:

His image,

my discovery.

© Lauren Heiligenthal