We are free in Christ, yet why are we still bound by certain sins? Our flesh fights against our spirit daily. The more we try to follow God, the more we feel it. The more we feel it, the more we want to give into our flesh because it seems easier. I write this from my own daily experience. For as long as I can remember I have been prone to anger and giving into frustrations. It may not seem like such a “terrible” sin, but it affects everyone around me. I can’t even count how many times I’ve had to say “I’m sorry.” Sometimes I’m not aware of what’s lurking underneath the surface until something (usually small) happens, and I snap. Other times I feel it building, and even though I know it’s wrong to give in, it’s so hard to not want to release the wrath. Many times I do. Yet, God doesn’t let me off the hook. He’s made it clear that I need to change, and if He has confidence in me that I can do it, then I can. We all have struggles and recurring sins that seem to hold us bound, but remember that we are free! We don’t have to give into our flesh. Our Father has confidence in us, His children, to make the right choices. If we follow Him wholeheartedly and die to our flesh daily, we can become godly men and women who are lights in this world. I’m definitely better than I was a few years ago, but there’s still more work to do. Let’s encourage one another in Christ so that we can be mature and ready for everything God has for us to do.
A few months ago I wrote a poem describing my fight with anger. I hope it encourages and challenges you.
Anger (originally written May 13, 2014)
I wake up, but I am not alone.
I feel the claws and the burning underneath my skin.
It’s trying to get out,
and I can’t contain it for long.
How destructive is a thought?
It never seems like much
until it starts to grow.
A thought then transforms
into an emotion,
and it changes me from the inside
The claws, the thoughts, the emotions—
the monster breaks free,
leaving me bound and hopeless.
I lash out without thought,
wanting to feel the wrath,
yet secretly wishing to change.
The wave of destruction hits,
but then guilt.
“I didn’t fight hard enough.
I could’ve killed it.”
Yet I forget that it answers to me.
I have bound myself to its will,
forgetting I am free
because Christ has removed my chains.
It is now time to carry my cross
and kill the anger inside.
If I am a slave,
it’s only because I choose to be.